Program 5: Assertiveness – essential for handling bullying, difficult friends, building resilience, overcoming fear of failure/disapproval, developing leadership skills and the skill of managing people. Win-Win communication that lasts a lifetime.


Upon completion of SHINE Program 5, we expect that our students:
  • understand the two most common reasons behind lack of assertiveness: fear of failure and/or disapproval and fear of feeling guilty
  • have developed the skills and strategies to resist peer pressure
  • have learnt the basics of confident and assertive body language and respectful tone of voice
  • feel better inside (empowered) through conveying strength of intent and purpose: talking, looking, thinking and acting assertively
  • understand who bullies can be
  • understand how to disarm and disempower a bully having learned, understood and practised the top 33 prevention and coping skills
  • understand that bullies are everywhere whether you are a child or an adult, so learning the skills to deal with a bully whilst young is an invaluable life-long skill
  • acknowledge and take responsibility for their own part in a bullying relationship
  • understand that research shows that, like sheep, people tend to run with the flock – if it is cool to bully, it will continue; if it is not cool to bully, then it will not. The peer group decides what is acceptable and what is not. Our students realise the responsibility they have to encourage their peer group to realise that it is not cool to bully
  • understand, recognise and master the difference between passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive and assertive communication styles
  • can set boundaries in relationships and can communicate appropriately about having their needs met
  • can kindly and courageously say "no", discuss an issue effectively and calmly, and communicate with others of different personalities and seniority levels without anxiety or fear
  • can give friendly, constructive feedback and can take constructive feedback with grace and dignity. Our students are taught to be impeccable with the truth; to be honest in the most gentle way
  • can distinguish between constructive criticism and nasty criticism; knowing when to graciously accept criticism at face value (and assume positive intent) or assertively deflect the unhelpful kind
  • can, in myriad role-playing social situations, assert themselves with confidence delivering a win-win result, including - dealing with intimidation, dealing with exclusion, recognising the friends who respect me and care for me and how to consciously and actively choose to be with them rather than be attached to the bully and their group/posse through fear
  • can recognise when they are being manipulated and/or taken advantage of
  • can recognise narcissists and those who do not have a genuine interest in their needs
  • have a tool box full of skills they can take into the world to be assertive and simultaneously meet their needs with another in a harmonious interaction